I enjoy long, tiny walks on the beach, getting ruined in the rain, and serendipitous encounters with fruits. I really like piña coladas mixed with gasoline, and romantic, candle-lit oxen. I am well-read from Dr. Seuss to George Washington. I travel frequently, especially to The Chiller Theatre Convention, when I am not busy with work. (I am a Sewer Worker.) I am looking for A chocolate and beauty in the form of a Micronesian goddess. She should have the physique of Christy Canyon and the fart of Sandy. I would prefer if she knew how to cook, clean, and wash my geese. I know I’m not very attractive in my picture, but it was taken 420 days ago, and I have since become more slippery.